Life and Days of Stupidity
by TemariShikamarulov3r161616
Summary: AU, all the Naruto co. are in highschool. How will these students survive through the crazy stunts, the crazy work, and the TOTALLY MAD teachers? oh yea, there WILL be angst in the later chapters. child abuse, shota, YAOI, Hetero, lemon, swearing, etc.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto in any way, or form. The honor of owning this masterpiece would have to be Kishimoto-san.

Summary: AU, all the Naruto co. are in highschool. How will these students survive through the crazy stunts, the crazy work, and the TOTALLY MAD teachers? Warning: may contain child abuse, shota, YAOI, Hetero, lemon, swearing, and other things that can occur in teen lives. But there will be humor within all that. OOCness too.

Genre: Humor/Romance/Angst

FOR SURE Pairings: SasoDei, TemaShika, HakuZabu, KibaHina, AsuKure, ItaKan, IruYasha, KidouTay, maybe more to come.

Reviewer's choice pairings: NejiSasu or GaaSasu, OroKabu or Oro TRIES Molest everyone, InoSaku or InoChou, you may request some if you want, I'll see if I like it.

One-sided pairings: ItaSasu, SakuSasu, I think that's about it.

Maybe pairings: TayShika? I'M, BRAIN DEAD!

Chapter 1-

It was the first day of school, and of course, Sasuke was not looking forward to seeing his fangirls.

_Staring out at the rain with her heavy heart  
It's the end of the world in my mind.  
then your voice holds me back like a wake up call  
I've been looking for the answer, somewhere…  
_Sasuke got up, and threw his radio/alarm clock out the window, and stomped to his private bathroom next to his closet. He took a shower, brushed his teeth and walked to the kitchen, where he was pounced on by his brother, Itachi.

"Is my little Sasuke-chan ready for the first day of highschool?" the senior asked him, grinning like a moron.

"GET... OFF... YOU... COW!" Sasuke yelled.

"You have yet to answer my question, my cute little brother." Itachi mocked.

"ONE... TWO...-"

"Alright, alright. Jeez Sasuke-chan, couldn't be a bit more nicer?" Itachi pouted getting off.

"Hn."

Sasuke grabbed a piece of french toast and said, "I'm off." as he walked out the door.

"Wait! Wait!" Itachi shouted.

"WHAT?" Sasuke shouted back.

"I'll drive you, IN MY BEAUTIFUL CAR!" Itachi proceeded to stroke his black Infinity.

"Only if I get to pick the station." Sasuke replied in a sigh.

"Fine, fine."

Sasuke and Itachi drove to school. When there, a SWAMP of females and males crowded the car.

"Geh!" Sasuke winced as he saw girls trying to scratch their way through the car. (scary...)

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Girls, girls, one at a time." Itachi said signing autographs.

"WTF? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU OPEN THE DOOR!" Sasuke screamed as he tried to escape through the sun-roof, and suceeded, as he ran, ran, and ran.

"SASUKE-KUN!" More fangirls.

They all pounced for him, but he dodged them all, and they all landed face first on the cold, hard, tiled floor.

Sasuke ran to where he supposed his locker was.

'...233... Locker number 233... AH HA!' Sasuke turned the combination, '29, 8, 35.'.

"SASUKE-BASTARD! HAVE YOU MET _MY_ NEW FRIEND THAT IS SO MUCH COOLER THAN ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS COMBINED, NEJI HYUUGA?" Naruto bragged.

"Hn." greeted Sasuke.

"Hn." greeted Neji. (Team Gai was from another elementry school and are sophmores. So they just met.)

"So... Sasuke-bastard, what's your schedule?" Naruto sneered, hoping that they had no classes together.

Sasuke handed Naruto a neatly folded paper, as Naruto threw Sasuke a crumpled ball.

_Uchiha, Sasuke Age 14_

_Freshmen_

_Period 1- Advanced Geometry Room A-1 Ms. Kurenai _(please bear with me, because I am not yet in highschool and have no idea what is taught in what grade levels.)

_Period 2- Advanced Chemistry Room B-6 Mr. Asuma (unexpected teachers for subjects.)_

_Period 3- Advanced World History Room B-2 Mr. Iruka_

_Recess_

_Period 4- Advanced English Room E-5 Ms. Shizune_

_Period 5- Drama Room B-3 Ms. Tsunade: Principal _

_Lunch_

_Period 6- Physical Education on the track Mr. Gai_

"Damn you, Sasuke-bastard, why don't they just send you to university!" Naruto shouted, having Neji peer into the paper.

"Looks like you have the same schedule as me, Sasuke." Neji said.

_Uzumaki, Naruto Age 13 _(cause, Naruto's birthday is in October.)

_Freshmen_

_Period 1- Algebra 1 Room A-5 Ms. Anko_

_Period 2- Biology Room B-4 Mr. Orochimaru _

_Recess_

_Period 3- American History Room B-7 Mr. Kakashi_

_Period 4- Language Arts Room E-3 Mr. Jiraiya_

_Lunch_

_Period 5- Music Room E-8 Mr. Ebisu_

_Period 6- Physical Education on the track Mr. Gai_

"NO! I CAN'T HANG OUT WITH NEJI, EXCEPT IN P.E.! NOT FAIR! WHY DOES SASUKE-BASTARD GET TO BE WITH NEJI!" Naruto screeched.

"Stop yelling, Naruto, you're giving me a headache." Gaara complained walking toward them.

"Oh! Sorry Gaara, can I see your schedule?" Naruto jumped up and down.

Naruto then scanned the list, and turned into a crying chibi, "Gaara, you have the same schedule as Sasuke-bastard and Neji."

"So?" Gaara shrugged.

Neji and Sasuke couldn't help it anymore, they burst out laughing.

"WAH! MY BEST FRIEND AND MY NEW FRIEND BOTH HAVE ONLY ONE SIMILAR CLASS TO ME! AND THAT'S P.E.!" Naruto screamed.

"You should just get better grades, Naruto, that's why we have the advanced sophmore classes." Gaara said.

"DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU ALL... YOU... YOU SMART PEOPLE!" Naruto yelled running toward Sakura to see what her schedule.

Naruto was glad that they had at least biology, recess, lunch, and music together.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG

Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara walked together to class. They decided to sit together, because Gaara and Sasuke did not know any other sophmores.

Kurenai stepped in after everyone was seated.

"Hello my students. I'll try to make this class as fun as possible okay?" Kurenai smiled sweetly.

For the first half hour of the class, everything was normal... until... ASUMA-SENSEI STEPPED IN.

"Oh! Hello, Asuma, what may I ask are you here for?" Kurenai addressed.

Asuma took the cigarette from his mouth and flicked it somewhere...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY HAIR! MY HAIR! ITS ON FIRE!" shouted a girl. (Asuma flicked the cigarette in her hair by accident.)

She got out her seat and ran around in circles, 5 circles to be exact. Then, she jumped out of the window, and died.

Everyone looked either like this, O.o, or like this O.O.

3 minutes later, a boy started screaming,"YOU KILLED MY CHICK! YOU KILLED MY CHICKEN! (chicken?) OMG!" then he jumped too, shouting, "I'LL SAVE YOU!".

"Uh... this is an ADVANCED class right?" a random boy asked seeing the stupidity of his classmates.

Kurenai nodded, very slowly.

"THEN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" Sasuke shouted, very pissed that he had been put into a class with idiots, because he was in a class of idiots, then he was an idiot as well.

Neji and Gaara felt very pissed as well. Gaara proceeded to push a boy who was crying about his best friend, Oscar, through the window. (Oscar was the guy that jumped.)

Neji, decided to calm himself down. 'Breathe, you are civilized and will not do such barbaric actions.'

"I think I should pass out the books now." Kurenai said very slowly.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

At 8:50 a.m. they all went to their next classes. The rest of the day went by smoothly until PERIOD 5, DRAMA!

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE! SHUT UP!" Tsunade shouted over the drama students.

Everyone went quiet.

"Listen up. We have a talent show on the third of October. I want you all to be in it." Tsunade started.

Everyone except some really girly fangirls groaned.

"NO COMPLAINING! Remember, you have to audition for the talent show, which will be held by myself. If you do not even try to audition, or auditioned, but didn't make it, the highest grade they can get for the trimester, is a 'C'!" Tsunade explained.

Everyone groaned again, even the fangirls. (the fangirls didn't know if they could make it or not.)

"Auditions are being held in a week from now, afterschool!" Tsunade told them.

"Now for the rest of the class find someone to partner with, or be an individual act. Once that is done, start planning what to do." Tsunade said.

All the fangirls/fanboys ran toward Itachi or Sasuke.

"ITACHI-KUN!" some shouted.

"SASUKE-KUN!" others shouted.

"Geh!" both Itachi and Sasuke shouted.

Itachi grabbed the people next to him and said, "Sorry girls, but I'm with these guys."

The girls and boys glared are Kisame and Kankurou, the two that Itachi had grabbed, and ran toward Sasuke.

"You owe us one, 'Tach." Kankurou chuckled as Itachi breathed in relieved.

"Yeah, yeah."

Sasuke seeing the girls/boys coming, he grabbed Neji and Gaara and did the exact samething as Itachi.

"You owe us, Uchiha." Gaara said.

"Whatever, I'll treat you both to sashimi afterschool." Sasuke told them.

"Are you sure you can afford it Sasuke?" Neji asked, since he just met Sasuke, he doesn't know that he was rich.

"Yeah." Sasuke said.

The 3 just sat there for a minute.

"So... what are we going to do?" Gaara asked, not liking C's, like the other two.

Neji and Sasuke shrugged.

"No poems." Gaara complained.

"No plays." Sasuke said.

"No ballets or tap dancing." Neji commented.

They trio thought for a while.

"Uh... how about a song?" Neji suggested.

"It has to be a good song." Sasuke replied.

"It has to have a music video, so we can see what to do." Gaara said.

They all thought for a second.

"UGH! WHAT BOY BAND HAS 3 MEMBERS?" Sasuke shouted in frustration.

"I'm not sure, let's make up our own band." suggested Neji.

"How about this, we all pick a genre of our own and then miss it together." Gaara said.

"Techno tune, and random lyrics, I guess." Neji said.

"Rock." Sasuke pointed out.

"Anything Dark." Gaara told them.

"We all write our own lyrics and come up with a tune of our own, that will be in the middle, the 3 solos, after that, we'll meet up and come up with a beginning and end that's not of techno, rock, or dark, okay?" Gaara said the longest sentence he had ever said in his whole life. (because he is very passionate when it comes to bands.) "Gaara... bad things happen when you start to act normal... stop." Sasuke said backing away.

"Oh... ok."

The 3 boys started writing lyrics that were of what they said.

Neji came up with:

_A metaphor to me,_

_Can be a kite._

_A kite that soars high,_

_With no worries._

_Some may even be jealous of me._

_For all they see me,_

_Is as a free flyer._

_But as they get closer to I,_

_They see my life is in the hands of another._

_I am forever attached,_

_And though it may seem it,_

_I'll never be truely free..._

Sasuke and Gaara blinked, stared, then started laughing.

"What?" Neji asked.

"Don't you think that's a bit... girly?" Sasuke asked between chuckling.

"I can come up with whatever I want. Do you have anything better, Sasuke?" Neji challenged.

"In fact, I do." Sasuke boasted.

Sasuke came up with:

_Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right  
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight  
And the whisper or handshake sending a sign  
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait nevermind  
Late night, and passing, mention it flipped her  
Best friend, who knows saying maybe it slipped  
But the slip turns to terror and a crush to light  
When she walked in, he throws up, believe its the fright _(I couldn't think of anything! Lyrics from Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge)

Neji and Gaara blinked.

"That make-out and kiss hard, wait nevermind part... sort of fits you... I guess." Neji slowly said.

"My turn." Gaara commented.

Gaara came up with:  
_If you were here I'd never have a fear.  
So go on live your life.  
But I miss you more than I did yesterday.  
You're so far away.  
So c'mon show me how.  
'Cause I mean this more than words can ever say.  
Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say  
We are young and we don't care.  
Your dreams and your hopeless hair.  
We never wanted it to be this way.  
For all our lives.  
Do you care at all? _(AUGH! I FEEL LIKE A POSEUR! Lyrics from Give Em' Hell Kid by My Chemical Romance)

Sasuke and Neji stared.

"Okay..., now for the beginning..." Gaara said.

"We'll work on this together."

"Let's work on the tune first, then we can match the syllables to the music." Neji told them.

"Aa." Sasuke agreed.

"Can you guys play instruments?" Neji asked.

"Aa."

Gaara nodded.

"What?"

"Japanese flute and keyboard." Sasuke said. (I'm making these up.)

"Drums and electric guitar." Gaara said.

"Electric guitar and keyboard for me." Neji said.

"So Neji can stand in the front to the audiences' right playing the electric guitar, whereas I can stand in front to the audiences' left playing my keyboard, and Gaara can go in the back middle playing on drums." Sasuke explained.

"Okay, so Sasuke covers choreography and wardrobe, Gaara can cover the basic structure of the song, and I'll do the tune." Neji told the other two.

"My job is done, then." Gaara said in a bored fashion.

"CLASS DISMISSED!" Tsunade yelled.

Erm, I'm ending chapter 1 there. You can flame if you want, cause, I don't think this is all that great. I know chapter one has NO action, but that will ALL change. (smiles evilly.)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Okay, so now its lunchtime, yay! This chapter will be quite different from the last, I will actually show other people who aren't near Sasuke, as long as they are in his lunch period. '161616' will be the separator. Oh yeah, there is a crazy blackmailing photo-taking lunatic named Keigo in this chapter. She's in the yearbook/journalism club. The things in the beginning that are in italics are who are partners and planning to do what in the talent show. That's all you need to know for now.

161616

_List of drama/non-drama people planning to be in the talent show..._

_Sasori/Deidara: Deidara's going to play 'Sadness and Sorrow (piano)' (heh, that's what I'm doing for my talent show that's in about a week.) and Sasori's gonna take the credit for this grade. Deidara is in art for elective and not drama, he wanted to do it with his Sasori-danna, therefore, not needing credit._

_Gaara/Sasuke/Neji: Forming a 3 member boy band named, 'Zarosaki'. (Don't ask.)_

_Temari/Tayuya/Shikamaru/Ino: planning to fight for Shikamaru on stage, winner gets Shika, permanently, until she doesn't want him, anymore. (Jeez, how sad. Oh yeah, if your wondering why Tayuya took drama instead of music, it's because she didn't want the other two to 'take her man', she says.)_

_Lee/Gai: I have no idea... nor do I want to..._

_Kidoumaru/Sakon/Ukon (something like that...): They're gonna form into ONE body. (amazing... :sweat drop:)_

_Shino: explain the mating rituals of centipedes. (EW... so many legs...)_

_Haku/Zabuza: show how well of a hair stylist Zabuza TRUELY is. (the side of him, only HAKU sees!)_

_Kabuto: explain and show how a person can live without their heart being in their chest. (he's gonna take out his heart, like that green-haired dude!)_

_Kiba: turn the stage into a dog show._

_Tenten/Keigo (don't worry, she won't be here long, I just kept thinking Tayuya/Tenten/Temari, then I thought... WHAT ABOUT SHIKA? And Tenten/Neji, but what will happen to the 3 person band? so yeah, I made an OC, I don't like her.): tell huge secrets about other people. (How mean...)_

_Kisame/Kankurou/Itachi: doing a small drama/play... thing... where Kisame IS A GIRL!_

_161616_

Lunch:

"Sasori-danna, yeah!" Deidara shouted over to Sasori.

"Hn…?" Sasori looked over pretending not to be happy after hearing Dei-chan.

Deidara glomped Sasori, "Ne, ne Sasori-danna, you have to be in the talent show, yeah?"

"Hn."

"I'LL HELP YOU, YEAH!"

"Hn, what talent do _you_ have?"

"I CAN PLAY PIANO, YEAH!"

"And what can you play?"

"Come with me, yeah." Deidara led Sasori to the music room.

He sat down on the piano chair and played Sadness and Sorrow.

'E, B, G, F…, D, E, B, G, F…, D. F sharp, E, B, B…' Deidara thought as his eyes wandered around to the notes and his fingers.

Sasori was moved by the enchanting music, and was just a hair away from crying. His eyes were blood-shot and water rimmed the bottom, but to keep his tough exterior he wiped his eyes and tried to stop. He failed miserably, and decided to just let the tears fall.

A second later, there was a flash!

"HAHAHA! YES! I GOT A PHOTO OF SASORI, _THE_ SASORI,-ONE OF THE HEART-LESS BASTARD IN SCHOOL, CRYING! THIS ONE WILL DEFINITELY GO INTO THE UNEXPECTANT MOMENTS LIST!" Keigo suddenly popped up and laughed insanely.

"GIVE ME THAT CAMERA!" Sasori lunged toward her.

She laughed hysterically and ran. But fell in a pot hole that appeared on the floor from nowhere. (for some reason, this girl is REALLY, clumsy.) Though she was in the pot hole, she still continued to laugh, until she screamed. The rats in the pot hole all ganged up on her and tried to eat her. Somehow, she survived and got out. She soon ran around the school finding more people to take photos of.

Soon, she remembered, 'OMG! I FORGOT TO ASK SOMEONE FOR THE ENGLISH NOTES TODAY!' She found her classmate, Merrill, and asked to copy his notes. He stuttered, A LOT, then a gun popped up into his hand and he shot her.

Keigo screamed in agony. (LOL.)

"OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY?" Merrill asked like a moron. (WTF? You shot her.)

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT? OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY, YOU DUMBASS! ARE YOU THAT DENSE?" Keigo yelled using her nails to remove the bullet. (is that safe?)

Merrill burst out crying, 'HOW THE HELL DID I SHOT HER? WHERE DID I GET THAT GUN? ALL I WANT TO DO IS PLEASE HER! WHY? WWWWWHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY?' (okay… psycho... Keigo somehow always gets shot by guys that like her for some reason. LOL.)

"STOP FUCKING CRYING, IF A PERSON IS TO CRY, IT SHOULD BE ME, YOU MORON!" She shouted wrapping bandages around her arm. (she knows how to handle gun shots… o.O.)

She then got up and started walking away, but the dumbass, Merrill, shot her in the back about 20 times non-stop. She coughed up blood, collapsed and didn't get up. (would you?) Temari, Tenten, and Tayuya, came from the north quarter hallway, hearing the gunshots, and Gaara, Sasuke, and Neji came from the south quarter hallway having heard the gunshots as well. Everyone else, was so stupid, they heard it and thought it was a bird. (WTF?)

"OH MY GOD!" Temari, Tenten, and Tayuya, screamed running over to the soaked-in-blood Keigo.

"Holy crap!" Sasuke yelled.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO IMBISILE?" Neji shouted.

Gaara restrained the crying-like-fucking-hell Merrill from running over to Keigo, thinking he was gonna shoot her some more.

"HOLY SHIT! LOOK HOW MANY BULLETS ARE IN HER!" Tenten yelled.

"SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Neji shouted, taking out his flip-phone.

( Regular writing is Neji and the rest, italics is the woman talking to Neji.)

"_Hello, have reached Konoha police station, how may I help you?" _the woman spoke slowly and calmly.

"HELLO? GET ME AN AMBULANCE TO KONOHA HIGH SCHOOL, NOW!" the frantic Neji yelled.

"_Sir, I'm going to need to you calm down."_

"Ok, please get me an ambulance to Konoha high school."

"_Sir, please speak at an appropriate tone." _(WTF?)

Neji twitched, and said in a slow and soft tone, "Please… get…. an… ambulance… to… Konoha… High… School..."

"_Sir, please refrain from talking to me, like I'm a retard, because I am twice, no 10 times smarter than you, and I can just arrest your sorry little- "_

Temari grabbed the phone. "LOOK YOU LITTLE BITCH, THERE'S BEEN A SHOOTING AND WE NEED A FUCKING AMBULANCE, SO YOU BETTER GET US PNE, BEFORE I GET OVER THERE AND WRENCH YOUR LITTLE NECK INTO LITTLE BREAD CRUMBS!"

"_Y..yes ma'am, right away..." _the shit-for-brains woman said frightened.

3 seconds later, Keigo got up, wincing in pain.

"OMG! LAY DOWN! AN AMBULANCE IS ON ITS WAY! HERE TAKE SOME PAIN-KILLERS!" Tenten yelled taking pills from her backpack.

"All the guys, look away, until I say so." Keigo told them.

They looked at her strange and turned to the opposite side. Keigo took off her shirt.

"What… what are you doing?" Tenten asked.

Keigo put her hands to her back and pried each bullet out, carefully one by one. Some were deeper than others, and one was ESPECIALLY deep. It had touched her spine, she didn't dare take that one out, it was too dangerous.

"Tenten, could you help me wrap some bandages around myself?" Keigo asked pulling the bandages out from her backpack.

"Yes, of course!" Tenten told her, and helped.

Keigo put her shirt back on.

"You guys can look now." She told them.

They looked and saw all the blood stained bullets on the tiled hallway.

"How… how did you…" Neji wondered.

Keigo shrugged, and said, "There's still one bullet lodged deep into my spine, I can't get that one, so I'll leave it for the hospital."

"Speaking of which, WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING AMBULANCE, GODDAMMIT, IT'S BEEN AT LEAST 40 FUGLY MINUTES SINCE YOU CALLED!" Tayuya shouted.

Jirobu (is that right?) appeared from nowhere and said," Tayuya, its not lady-like to cuss."

"FUCK OFF FATASS! JUST SHUT UP AND GO TELL ANOTHER WHORE ABOUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING LADY-LIKE MANNERS!" Tayuya yelled.

Jirobu went to bug Sakura.

They all took Keigo to Tsunade's office, where she was given surgery to remove the last bullet. Merrill was not expelled, suspended, given detention or any other punishment, because he sot and OC character, who is not important. But if it were a REAL character, that would be ANOTHER story. Before they could return to class, the dismissal bell rung, and they all walked out of the office. Once they reached the yard of the school, an ambulance came.

"OMFG, WTF?" they all shouted.

"This school is sooooooooo retarded." Sasuke and Keigo said, being freshmen.

"I'm going to cripple that woman at the police station's neck." Temari told them.

161616

Please vote, so I can know what to do:

1. NejiSasu or GaaSasu?

2. OroKabe or Orochimaru just tries to molest EVERYONE?

3. SakuIno or InoChou

4. Should Keigo get together with a guy, and get shot everyday? LOL.

Well, there's chapter two!


	3. Chapter 3

disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, but the world of my imagination.

A/N: sorry it took so long to update, I had to do a HUGE book report on a non-fiction book, that's over 250 pages, and it counts for HALF of my second trimester reading grade, and I'm still not finished and its due in 2 days. Also, I have to do a science project that's due tomarrow. I know, I should be working on it right now, but... I'M TIRED! OH YEAH! VOTE MORE YOU PEOPLEZ! So far, the GaaSasu is in the lead, BUT I do not like SasuNaru, so please don't tell me to. Ok, here's chapter 3.

Chapter 3-

Day of TRYOUTS! DUN DUN DUN!

BBBRRRIIINNNGGG!

"Yay, time to go home!" Naruto shouted as he raced out of school.

Sasuke sighed as he, Neji and Gaara walked toward the auditorium. They had left their intruments in there the other day, so they don't have to darg anything right now. As they were about to open the door, a bunch of crying 1st graders bursted out.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE DIDN'T GET IN! I MEAN - WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN LIP-SINGING TO 'TOXIC', BY BRITNEY SPEARS?" one sobbed.

"I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE DONT 'STRONGER'!" another screamed.

"O.. kay, why are there 1st graders at our highschool?" Neji said and avoided the bunch and went in.

Sasuke and Gaara then followed, both boys reached for the door, and ended up grabbing each others hands.

They blushed and said, "You first." in unison.

Gaara went in first and saw Neji sitting around the 5th or 6th row of seats. As he got seated nest to him, he noticed that Neji was twitching uncontrollably at the stage. Gaara turned, and also started twitching uncontrollably.

"WTF?" Sasuke said.

A bunch of fangirls were dancing (very sluttyly.) and lip-singing to 'I'm a Slave 4 You', by Britney Spears, BUT WITHOUT ANY MUSIC!

"Are they stupid, or are they just plain retarded?" Gaara asked.

"Both and then some." Neji answered.

You couldn't hear anything, since they were lip-singing, all you could see was, their mouths moving and them dancing like whores. They had no rhythem and some forgot where they were at, but there was one girl who was so lost, THAT SHE CRAPPED HERSELF! Now, normally, you could only tell if she turned around, but since she was wearing a SUPER-MINI skirt, and the other other fangirls said that Sasuke didn't like underwear... THE SHIT ALL PLOPED ONTO THE FLOOR!

"...EWW!" Neji screeched.

"..." :shudder: went Gaara.

"MY EYES, MY STRANGELY, YET ATTRACTIVELY OBSIDIAN EYES!" Sasuke screamed covering his eyes.

"SOMEONE CALL THE JANITOR!" Tsunade ordered, as everyone in the auditorium screeched, screamed, and/or laughed.

All the fangirls pretended not to notice that happened and went on with their act. When they were done, Tsunade shouted, "NO! YOU ALL SUCK, NOW GET OUT!"

The fangirls all cried and ran away.

The janitor came and wanted to run away, run FAR FAR away, but through the glare of Tsunade, he cleaned it spotless. Luckily for all the other performers, she was at the side of the stage, and pooped ( pink poop.) onto the platform under the stage.

"NEXT!" Tsunade yelled, clearly pissed.

Zarosaki (you know who they are right?) shuffled with their instuments and got in their positions on stage. There were 3 microphones, so they didn't have to share.

"Hello, we are 'Zarosaki', AND THIS IS TRAGEDY!" Neji announced.

The trio started playing, and then sang:

_"My hands still stained from your blood,_

_holding onto the knife I used to cut your heart out with."_

_" (I would let you...) lust for me, crush me,_

_your lust is searing, _

_but crushing me is just plain crazy." _continued the three.

"_A kite that soars high,_

_With no worries._

_Some may even be jealous of me._

_For all they see me,_

_Is as a free flyer._

_But as they get closer to I,_

_They see my life is in the hands of another._

_I am forever attached,_

_And though it may seem it,_

_I'll never be truely free..." _Neji's AWESOMELY ANGELIC voice lead on.

_"Shunned me, loathed me,_

_your hate taste of venom,_

_death itself is far less painful..." _the joined voices cut in.

_"Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right  
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight  
And the whisper or handshake sending a sign  
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait nevermind  
Late night, and passing, mention it flipped her  
Best friend, who knows saying maybe it slipped  
But the slip turns to terror and a crush to light  
When she walked in, he throws up, believe its the fright." _(Lyrics from Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge) Sasuke sang his solo with a SERIOUSLY SILKY voice.

_"Forgive me, (that's all I've ever wanted.) kill me, (this life is haunting.)_

_"Regret has consumed me, so end this not-fit-to-be being..." _they sang.

_If you were here I'd never have a fear.  
So go on live your life.  
But I miss you more than I did yesterday.  
You're so far away.  
So c'mon show me how.  
'Cause I mean this more than words can ever say.  
Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say   
We are young and we don't care.  
Your dreams and your hopeless hair.  
We never wanted it to be this way.  
For all our lives.  
Do you care at all?"_ ( Lyrics from Give Em' Hell Kid by My Chemical Romance) Gaara poured his heart out with his MELLOW MURMURS.

_"My heart has broken from all the lies you've told me._

_Your lies are what caused our tragedy to occur,_

_DO YOU TRUELY LOVE ME?" _Neji, Gaara, and Sasuke screamed their last lines.

Everyone broke out in applaud, and threw roses and other flowers to the stage.

"I'm so proud!" Itachi sobbed.

"That's our Sasuke-chan!" Kankurou added to the joke.

:fake sniff: "My, when he said he wanted to be a big star like Micheal Jackson, I thought he meant something else." Kisame supressed his snickers.

That was when they couldn't hold it anymore, they laughed out loud, even though they had truely enjoyed the act.

"YOUR IN!" Tsunade told them with a smile.

"Whew, no C's for us." the 3 sighed in relief, as they took their intruments off the stage.

The 3 walked down the stage, once their equipment was neatly put away. They were met with a crowd of people asking for autograghs.

"No."

"No."

"Will I get paid?" Gaara asked, being the only one of the 3 that's not from a rich family.

"WE'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!"

"20 dollars per autograph, and get in a straight line." Gaara said.

They immediately did as they were told.

Gaara signed for everyone, and got a LOT of money. Neji and Sasuke just sat ther not caring, because they were rich and didn't need anymore money.

When he was done, Gaara ended up with 2,060 dollars in total.

"God, you could have just asked for money from us you know, I mean - we are loaded." Sasuke told him.

"You guys probably would be too stuck up to give me any." Gaara said.

"You're right." Neji said.

"Let's just go now, I'm tired." Sasuke said.

The 3 were about to go in their seperate directions home, when ITACHI SHOWED UP!

"Hello, little Sasuke-chan and friends." Itachi greeted with a smile.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Nothing but to give you and your friends a ride to our house." Itachi smiled like an idiot.

"What if they don't want to come over."

"Then they WILL FACE MY WRATH!" Itachi turned evil for a second. "So what do you say?" he asked _SWEETLY_.

They told a step back and said, "Ok."

"Yigo!" Itachi led them to his car. (Let's go!)

They were silent for the entire ride. But when Gaara walked into the house...

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Erm.. I'll update when I get 18 reviews, okay?


	4. talent show part 1

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

AGH! SORRY SORRY! I KNOW I SAID 18 REVIEWS, BUT I HAD A BLACK OUT AND THEN MY INTERNET STOPPED WORKING FOR LIKE 5 DAYS! Okay, anyway, this is on upon the DAY OF TRYOUTS! DUN DUN DUN!

story start... NOW!

Neji, Sasuke, and Gaara were following their class out of their geometry class at 8:30, to go watch and perform at the talent show. They were given a to tell them when they were going on.

_**Talent Show Schedule:**_

_1. Lee/Gai_

_2. Temari/Tayuya/Shikamaru/Ino_

_3. Kidoumaru/Sakon/Ukon _

_4. Shino_

_5. Kiba_

_6. Gaara/Sasuke/Neji_

_7. Kisame/Kankurou/Itachi (I changed my mind. These three will be singing to 'Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss' by Bloodhound Gang, but Kisame will still be a girl.)_

_8. Sasori/Deidara _

_9. Tenten/Keigo_

_10. Haku/Zabuza_

_11. Kabuto_

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"So... We're number... 6." Neji said.

"Un! No fair! Itachi, Kankurou and Kisame are right before us, yeah! After they go, people will think that our art sucks, yeah!" Deidara complained.

"Whatever, as long as I get in the talent show, I don't get a 'C', so whatever." Sasori told him not caring the slightest.

"Hmph, un!"

"EVERYONE SHUT UP AND TAKE A SEAT!" Tsunade shouted over the microphone.

"Ow... my ears..." everyone moaned.

"Today is the day of the talent show! For those of you performing, please go backstage when the act before you starts. Thank you." Tsunade was about to take a seat when she remember to say, " IF ANY OF YOU TALK, INSULT, OR IN ANYWAY DISTURB THE ACTS... I WILL PERSONALLY **KILL** YOU!"

So of course, there were interruptions at during the show. About 5 minutes later, the first act went on!

Lee walked on stage, wearing a pink halter top, with a pink mini flare skirt, that was so mini, you could see... _IT!_ (you know what, 'IT' is right?)

Everyone covered their eyes and yelled," MY EYES, MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!"

"Yay! I can't believe it! I'm actually going on a date with the COOLEST guy in school, Gai-kun!" Lee screamed in a squeaky voice.

"Hmm... I wonder when he's gonna get here..." Lee wondered out loud.

"Here I am, my young companion of youth!" Gai jumped out in a pukey-green dress shirt, tucked in a pair of yellow sweat pants.

"Oh, Gai-kun! You're so swave. (sp?) Your choice of clothing is really spiffy! (sp?)" Lee complimented.

"Why thank you, you look mighty fine yourself, my fine maiden of honor." Gai said in a very horny manner.

The audience noticed this and all started to gossip, where as Tsunade tried to not noticed that, but since Gai was wearing sweat pants, the erection, was REALLY noticeable.

"Well, I suppose we should go?" Lee suggested.

"Yes, yes, may I have your hand, my beautiful blossom of love?" (ugh, I running out of these weird quotes that Gai and Lees say.) Gai asked.

Lee gave Gai his arm and blushed.

Gai took it and they walked in place. People moved scenery backgrounds from parks, highways, bathrooms, and finally a restaurant. Gai and Lee stopped walked and scrolled toward the table and chair that suddenly appeared there. They picked up their menus and ordered to a waiter named, Leopatra. (Gai blackmailed him.)

"Lele-chan, (Lee's name in the play.) I truely love you." Gai told Lee.

"Oh Gai-kun! I've been waiting for you to tell me that my WHOLE life!" Lee shouted in excitement.

"Would you like to come to my mansion after we eat? My family went on a vacation, and won't be back until a week from now." (omg! Gai's talking like a normal person! I guess Lee has that effect on him.) Gai asked Lee.

"Oooh, Gai-kun! How mischivious!" Lee giggled.

The audience wanted to barf.

Finally, they finished eating and walked in again. The table and chair had disappeared with a '_poof_' and the backgrounds were moving again. Then, they got to a huge pink mansion.

"Well, my dear bosom of youth, would you like to enter my room?" Gai asked as they walked into the mansion.

"Why yes, of course!" 'Lele' screeched.

Gai and Lee walked to a door, and walked in. Inside was a BIG bed, lots and lots of porno posters, and one was of LEE! (OMG!)

'Why is there a naked photo of me on the wall?' wondered Lee.

"Would you like to make love?" asked Gai.

Lele nodded.

Gai took off all of his horrid clothes to reveal his (i don't know what kind) body. (use whatever you think it would look like, i wouldn't want to affend the Gai fans.)

At this, Keigo in the audience, turned off her camcorder IMMEDIATELY, and erased everything that was part of or reminded her of Gai and Lee's 'act'.

Gai then took off the little clothes that Lele had on, and had a MAJOR hard on.

"Well then, Lele-_koi_..." Gai growled and slammed (our poor) Lee into the bed and slammed into (our poor) Lee.

"Ah... ah... Gai..."

"Uh... uh... Lee..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" everyone in the audience were screaming of horror, and trying to get out of the auditorium, but Tsunade had made sure of it, that all the doors were locked.

Then, all of a sudden, Gai and Lele, had DIED!

"WTF?" shouted the audience.

Then Gai and Lee both had on clothes (the leotards.) again. They stood up, in a very serious manner, and walked toward the front of the stage.

"DON'T HAVE SEX! YOU CAN GET STDs AND DIE!" the 2 shouted.

"..."

They bowed and ran off stage.

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uh sorry this is so short, I'll update a longer one VERY soon, cause I have to go to sleep now. bye!


	5. talent show part 2

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, would Sasori die? HELLZ NO! (goes and punches Sakura's pukey-green barf, called a face, and then proceeds to punch Chiyo's wrinkley piece of shit, called a face. :crys with Deidara: Deidara and me: SASORI-DANNA! WE SHALL AVENGE YOU!)

A/N: uhm... I'm only 12, so yea, I'm stupid, and have bad vocab, but whatever. Oh yeah, sorry for the short update last time, I did it at 11:00 p.m., and I had to risk being caught by my parents. It was a school night, so yeah. Anyway, here's the story...

Chapter 5 - SHOWDOWN FOR THE DEER! DUN DUN DUN!

"Okay, Gai, Lee, thank you for that... educational... um.. thingy..." Tsunade said in the mic.

Gai and Lee bowed and pinged. (pinged is that shiny teeth thing they do.)

"Anyways, here's the second act, called, 'Showdown for the Deer', performed by Tayuya, Shikamaru, Ino, and Temari."

The 3 girls dragged a Shikamaru in a chair onto the stage. They all had their weapons with them, as everyone wondered what this was all about.

"We will not be responsible, for any injuries that may occur in this act. Thank you." Temari told everyone.

They sat poor Shika in the middle of the stage. Then...

The 3 girls went CRAZY!

Temari took out a scroll, bit her finger, and wrote some kanji onto the scroll. Tayuya was playing a new tune on her flute like mad, causing Temari and Ino's movements to paralyze. But of course they were all strong and were resistant to attacks. Therefore, Tayuya was only able to slow down the other 2's movements. Ino did a few hand seals and exchanged into Temari's body, but not before Temari had finished the kanji and hand seals, then leading to Temari somehow yelling, "KAMAICHI!" (is that right? sorry, I forgot, I haven't read that episode in at least a year and i forgot Ino's too, I haven't seen her's in 2 years!) in Ino's body. Of course, since Ino was in Temari's body when this was yelled, the possiblities of the attack are infinite. But what happened, was, ALL 3 GIRLS WERE BLOWN AWAY! They clutched on the floorboards of the stage. They shouted their last words before flying off.

"SHIKAMARU, YOU BIG CRYBABY! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Temari screamed.

"YOU USELESS LAZY BUM! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST CHOOSE ONE OF US LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!" Ino screeched.

"THAT BRAIN IS WASTED ON A FUCK SHIT SCUMBAG LIKE YOU! HAVING 3 FUCKING GIRLS! DID YOU EVEN CONSIDER OUR EFFIN' FEELINGS?" Tayuya yelled.

As they shouted this, it was clear that they were crying, not sobbing, just crying. All the girls, Kankurou, Gaara, Sakon, Ukon, Kimimaru, Jirobou, Kidoumaru, EVEN Chouji, started glaring at Shikamaru.

:Sigh: "How troublesome..." Shikamaru, clearly having no say in this grumbled.

"Okay, I proclaim, no winner for the 'Shika-cup' then." Tsunade announced, as she untied our poor Shika.

"Well then, the next act is... Kidoumaru, Sakon, and Ukon, they will be... forming into one body." (let's say, no one's seen them do it.)

Kidoumaru, Sakon, and Ukon, clearly trying to cheer Tayuya up along with Jirobou and Kimimaru, but failing miserably, didn't notice that they were on.

"KIDOUMARU, SAKON, AND UKON, GET YOUR FRIGGIN' ASSES UP HERE!" Tsunade yelled.

Sakon and Ukon started walking slowly towards the stage, as they gave Tayuya, a last sympathetic look.

Kidoumaru had fallen HARD for Tayuya in the 3rd grade, but they had always stayed best friends. Thinking that Tayuya seriously needed someone to fill the gap for the stupid deer (as he would refer to.) decided that she was on the rebound. So, he did the quickest thing that seemed most reasonable at the moment, kissed her. It only lasted for half a second, for Kidoumaru feared Tayuya's wrath, heck, any guy would fear any girl's wrath! She looked up.

"Look, Tayuya, I've been in love with you since 3rd grade, but I didn't think you liked me back, since, you always call me a squid - MMPH!" Kidoumaru was cut off.

Tayuya had kissed him, (awwz!) Kidoumaru closed his shocked eyes with contributed to the angelic moment.

"AWW..." said everyone. (even stoic peoplez!)

Then... a random boy farted. Which broke the TOTALLY romantic moment. Then the boy next to him started laughing like hell, so much, that he fell off his seat, and cracked his head in half on the cement floor.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FARTED!" the boy howled, even though his head with broken in two.

The boy who farted blushed, "SO ITS NATURAL!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BUT YOU NEVER FART!" the boy seeme to not have noticed that by now, he was laying in a pool of blood.

"IT JUST PROVES THAT I'M ALIVE!" the first boy sneered.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ITS... HAHA... THAT... YOUR...H...HAHAH...HE...HAHA...HEART?" the boy even harder, hard enough that he blew his arms off. (O.o... o...k...)

"OMG! JAKE! YOUR BLEEDING!" the boy that farted informed, finally noticing, after having blood shot into his face.

"WHAT? BUT I'M HIV-POSITIVE!" the boy on the floor, Jake screamed.

"WHAT? Wait... what.. is this HIV you speak of?" the boy that farted asked like a dumbass.

"WTF? HOM, HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHAT HIV IS?" Jake shouted.

"I DUNNO!" the boy that farted, Hom yelled.

"ITS HUMAN IMMUNODEFICIENCY (did I speak that right?) VIRUS, YOU IMBISILE!" Jake yelled. (Hom and Jake are based on a guy I hate in my class, and a bitchy teacher I hate in my school.)

"WHAT? THAT'S AN STD! HOW DID YOU GET IT?" Hom screeched, finally realizing what it was.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS AN STD?"

"OMG! YOU KNOW ABOUT HIVs AND NOT STDs?"

Jake shook his head.

:Sigh: "STD, is sexually transmitted disease."

"OH! I have a bad habit with fucking needles." Jake told Hom.

"WTF? WHERE DO YOU PUT IT IN?" Hom asked. (no, I haven't had sex ed or anything like that yet, but, I WAS SCARRED FOR LIFE AT THE YOUNG AGE OF 4 AND A MONTH! wah...)

"You know that hole in one side of the needle?" Jake asked.

"Yeah?" Hom seems... a little.. TOO interested.

"That's where I put it in." Jake explained.

"Oh I see, but that doesn't explain where you got STDs from." Hom said.

"Oh, once I was going home from the library, and got really horny and desperate after seeing a strawberry tree (since when does strawberries grow in trees?) and then I saw a hobo, so I told him that I'd give him 50 dollars if he had a needle, and he did. Turns out, that needle had been infected by HIV." Jake explained.

"OH NO!" Hom suddenly had a thought.

"What? What is it?" Jake asked.

"YOUR BLOOD GOT ON ME! NOW I HAVE HIV! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN!" Hom screeched.

Then... Jake drowned in his own blood.

"AHH! JAKIE-POO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I NEVER GOT TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU! WAHHHHHHHHHH! LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING WITHOUT YOU!" Hom screeched.

Hom then grabbed one of Jake's hands that was next to him, and then shoved it down his throat. But he accidently touched the thing that made him throw up. (I forgot what's it called, can someone tell me?) So Hom barfed up SCREW DRIVERS, AND SCUBA DIVERS, that were trapped within green milky substance that resembled semen, only, its green.

"Oopsies."

Hom then shoved it down his thoat without touching the thing that made him throw up, and suceeded without choking. (OMG! HE DIDN'T CHEW HIS FOOD!)

"HAHA! NOW JAKIE WILL FOREVER REMAIN A PART OF ME!" Hom shouted. (:twitch: it'll digest... won't it?)

"O...KAY... Let's just get back to the show now... okay?" Tsunade asked, freaked out. (omg, I'm seriously feeling sorry for that janitor.)

"Uh, I'll catch you later Tayuya." Kidoumaru said jogging toward the stage.

And finally, the trio, got to do their act. ( I don't need to explain, I'm sure if you know these guys, you should know how they do it.)

They left the stage, as Tsunade announced the next act, Shino and his mating rituals... of centipedes...

"Centipedes display mating rituals that end with the male depositing a spermatophore on the ground or in a web that he spins. Females subsequently pick up the spermatophore with their genitalia, or the male does and deposits it in the latter with his mouthparts." said Shino.

He said other stuff too, but I'm too lazy to research.

Okay, so now its...

'KIBA'S DOG SHOW!'

Kiba came to the stage with 10 different dogs. They did tricks, were tested on their wit, judged by appearance, and tested on how tough they were. In th end result the audience chose Akamaru as the winner, and was presented with a big bag of 'Pedigree'.

And then...

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you..."

161616

Um, that's it for now, I guess. And uhm, I'll update when I get 30 reviews, okay? ok. I am the 12 year old sexpert. I can... um... out name anything related to sex than you all! No, I'm not all that perverted, I blame my brother, for SCARING me for life when I was 4. He made me watch porno with him! And I blame my parents for putting condoms in the medicine cabinet, and leaving the key to their 'sex' cabinet right next to my earings. IT HAD A 'HARD PUMP' IN IT! EWWWWWWWW! My god, I know TOO much for a 12 year old.


	6. talent show 3 and Kabuto's misery

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, boys wouldn't like it, only us yaoi lovers.

A/U: I know I said up to 30 reviews, but I watched the Zabuza and Haku episodes, again, and I felt the NEED for angst, and GOOD angst. A real tear-jerker, so I went off in search for angst, but fail in finding anything I haven't already read or even worth reading. (for I am really picky.) Besides, I don't have school today anyways, so I thought, 'What the hell, screw it.' And here it is, chapter 6, its angsty though. I'm not sure if its gonna make you cry or not, its been awhile since I've written angst. Oh yes, there are some amount of sexual scenes in this, because that makes it angstyer. (not sure if its a word.) But I'm a virgin, (thank god.) and it won't be THAT discriptive.

Chapter 6...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you... :opens curtains: ZAROSAKI!" Tsunade announced.

"Uhm... we call this song 'Tragedy'." Neji told them.

The trio started playing, and then sang:

_"My hands still stained from your blood,_

_holding onto the knife I used to cut your heart out with."_

_" (I would let you...) lust for me, crush me,_

_your lust is searing, _

_but crushing me is just plain crazy." _continued the three.

"_A kite that soars high,_

_With no worries._

_Some may even be jealous of me._

_For all they see me,_

_Is as a free flyer._

_But as they get closer to I,_

_They see my life is in the hands of another._

_I am forever attached,_

_And though it may seem it,_

_I'll never be truely free..." _Neji's AWESOMELY ANGELIC voice lead on.

_"Shunned me, loathed me,_

_your hate taste of venom,_

_death itself is far less painful..." _the joined voices cut in.

_"Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right  
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight  
And the whisper or handshake sending a sign  
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait nevermind  
Late night, and passing, mention it flipped her  
Best friend, who knows saying maybe it slipped  
But the slip turns to terror and a crush to light  
When she walked in, he throws up, believe its the fright." _(Lyrics from Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge) Sasuke sang his solo with a SERIOUSLY SILKY voice.

_"Forgive me, (that's all I've ever wanted.) kill me, (this life is haunting.)_

_"Regret has consumed me, so end this not-fit-to-be being..." _they sang.

_If you were here I'd never have a fear.  
So go on live your life.  
But I miss you more than I did yesterday.  
You're so far away.  
So c'mon show me how.  
'Cause I mean this more than words can ever say.  
Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say   
We are young and we don't care.  
Your dreams and your hopeless hair.  
We never wanted it to be this way.  
For all our lives.  
Do you care at all?"_ ( Lyrics from Give Em' Hell Kid by My Chemical Romance) Gaara poured his heart out with his MELLOW MURMURS.

_"My heart has broken from all the lies you've told me._

_Your lies are what caused our tragedy to occur,_

_DO YOU TRUELY LOVE ME?" _Neji, Gaara, and Sasuke screamed their last lines.

Everyone clapped until their arms fell off. The three ran before they could die by being buried alive by flowers, or die by fangirls.

(uhm, since I'm adding in angst, the rest of the acts will have to wait. Sorry.)

BBBRRRIIINNNGGG!

161616

Kabuto's P.O.V.

"Oh! It seems this year's talent show ran long, We'll continue tomarrow, now, get out, you brats!" Tsunade yelled.

'Shimata!' Kabuto thought. (shit!)

He ran out of the auditorium before the aisles got crowded. He turned a sharp corner, hoping to suceed in racing out of school before... BAM! Kabuto ran into someone.

"Ack! I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I'M IN A RUSH!" Kabuto bowed, not realizing that this was whom he was running away from.

"What wrong, Kabuto...?" Orochimaru (OMG! FIRST APPEARANCE!) slurred, thinking that it was 'attractive'.

"O-Orochimaru-sensei..."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Orochimaru-_sama_, not sensei, my slave, you shall be severely punished." Orochimaru snapped.

"Y-yes, my most sincere apologize, Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto apologized.

"Now come, my slave, come."

"Yes Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto said following him.

Orochimaru led Kabuto to his SHAG VAN! Kabuto got in and Orochimaru drove to his lair. Upon getting there, Kabuto had gotten plenty of painful gropes from Orochimaru. Finally after 15 minutes, they were at Orochimaru's ... _house._ (if you can call it one.) Kabuto shivered.

"Are you cold, my slave?"

"No, I am fine Orochimaru-sama, please worry more about yourself."

The moment Orochimaru closed the door...

'AGH!' Kabuto thought as Orochimaru jumped him, making him fall onto the cement floor. "Ow."

Orochimaru smirked as he furiously tugged down Kabuto's pants and boxers at the same time, ripping them in the process. He then tore off Kabuto's shirt, Biting a npple so hard, it bled.

Kabuto winced, though he was used to this treatment, Orochimaru had done it many times. Why does Kabuto put up with this, and not tell anyone? Because Kabuto belongs to Orochimaru now. After his mother had died, his father turned into a monster. Kabuto was abused each day, getting whipped for not doing anything, punched, etc.Kabuto had wondered, why doesn't his father just kill him, and one day, he asked. He regreted that day, with all his heart, he regreted that question, he regreted it all.

_Flashback-_

_POW! _

_Kabuto's father (let's name him Jimmy. (an 8th grader at my school that likes to hit my friend Gordon. They're siblings.)) Jimmy, punched Kabuto in the face. Which sent him flying into the wall._

_Kabuto in his pain, and anger screamed, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL ME?" _

_Jimmy seemed to been angered by that question. "Why? Why do I spare your life? Because I want to torment you, I want to make you suffer so much pain, you can BRAG about it. You know what, I don't think I'm giving you enough discipline. I have a friend that will scar you so bad, you'll be afraid to walk out of your room, even to take a piss!" (haha, this reminds me so much of Jimmy, that fucking shit-head.) _

_"NOTHING CAN BE WORST THAN THIS!" Kabuto yelled._

_"Oh yeah?"_

And so, Kabuto was sold to Orochimaru. (WAH!)

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, SLAVE? I SAID SUCK!" Orochimaru yelled, pulling Kabuto by the hair.

"Y-yes, master." Kabuto obeyed and suck on the hairy piece of shit called a crotch.

"Yes, good slave." Orochimaru told Kabuto, as he released into Kabuto's mouth.. (that was fast.)

Instead of white stuff, Orochimaru's was a putrid mix of pink and green. (iono.) Thankfully, Orochimaru thought this was strange as well, and let Kabuto spit it out.

After that, Orochimaru stradled Kabuto's hips, and without using lube, condoms, any protection, or something like soap that could make it easier to slide in, Orochimaru slammed into Kabuto so hard, you could literally hear the 'RRRIIIPPP!'.

"AHHH!" Kabuto screamed.

Kabuto's insides were bleeding, from severely ripped tissue, and reopened wounds. (ow...) Orochimaru smirked as he pinched Kabuto's nipples, HARD. Kabuto tried to hold in the tears, because, if he cried, he'd be declaring surrender, and NEVER will he let his horrid abusive father (Jimmy) win. So Kabuto put up with this torture for hours on end, and finally, Orochimaru stopped. Kabuto quickly put on some clothes that weren't torn, and tried to walk home, wincing at each step.

After an hour of walking, he was home, only to be physically abuse by Jimmy. When Jimmy was satisfied (omg, I'm sorry Kabuto, I just thought, ' hm... relation to Orochimaru.' AGH! Gomen!) he went up to his room. Kabuto went up to the bathroom to check the damage done by Orochimaru.

'5 bruises on the hips, one bump, dry blood everywhere.' Kabuto thought as he ran a shower.

Kabuto had to endure more pain as the water had ran pass his new and reopened inner wounds, that Kabuto couldn't see.

As Kabuto laid in bed that night, he thought, 'I have no escape, I'm boxed to face this pain forever.'

161616

AGH! Next chapter will be all in text messages.


	7. chatroom

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/U: this is again, not the talent show, because I'm lazy and this WHOLE chapter is on text messages. I'm sure you know who everyone by the screen names, but if your not clear, ask me in a review. This is short and pointless.

chapter 7-

Welcome to Konoha highschool's chatroom, please enter a sn that is not your real name and begin.

**RadioactiveRacoon: **WTF?

**Surpassed-the-main-family:** This is the school's chatroom, every1 can c this chat rite now, so, there's no privacy at all.

**BetterThanTheWeasel:** Gee, how fantastic...

**Weaselboi: **Otoutou, wat's with ur sn?

**BetterThanTheWeasel: **XP

**Weaselboi: **humph

**BlueShark: **Aww, don't b upset tach.

**Puppet-of-sand:** yea, tach, we'll go fishing later!

**BlueShark: **fish r friends, not food.

**Puppet-of-sand: **rite, we'll go 2 the arcade then.

**Weaselboi: **will u make me a puppet of otoutou?

**Puppet-of-sand: **sure

**Weaselboi: **WHEE!

**BetterThanTheWeasel: **WTF?

**GiantFanFromTheSand has entered. **(this means they just logged on.)

**GiantFanFromTheSand: **sup

**WeaponMaster: **hey tem!

**GiantFanFromTheSand: **hey ten!

**KillerWithFlute: **hey.

**ManneredFatBoi: **tayuya! a lady does not use such words, as killer.

**KillerWithFlute: **shut up fatass.

**PureAsSnow has entered.**

**PureAsSnow: **HI EVERY1!

**SilentDemon-Of-Assassins has entered.**

**SilentDemon-Of-Assassins: **hi

**Weaselboi: **hey haku, zabuza.

**Ramenlover has entered.**

**Ramenlover: **HI!

**FootballUchiha: **wats with all these freshmen?

**Weaselboi: **who knows?

**BetterThanTheWeasel: **shut up shisui, itachi.

**FootballUchiha: **haha! nice sn sasu!

**BetterThanTheWeasel: **thx

**Weaselboi: HEY!**

**FootballUchiha: **jk itachi

**GOTSHOTBYAPOKEMON has entered. **(keigo)

**A-water-pokemon has entered. **(merrill.)

**GOTSHOTBYAPOKEMON: **hi'z.

**A-water-pokemon: **ello.

**Evil-Deer-Of-Doom has entered.**

**Sasukelov3r has entered.**

**BigBoned has entered.**

**Sasukelov3r: **HAHA! I GOT THIS SN B4 FOREHEAD GRL COULD!

**Weaselboi: **well otoutou, looks lyk u've got some fans.

**FootballUchiha: **haha, ooh, they're fighting over an sn 4 u, sasu.

**BetterThanTheWeasel: **:twitch:

**Evil-Deer-Of-Doom: **tell me again y i have to do this Ino?

**Sasukelov3r: **RAWR! SHUT UP!

**BigBoned: **hada heta... (i'm hungry...)

**Sasuke-loves-pinkie has entered.**

**Sasuke-loves-pinkie: **ALRITE, WHO THE HELL TOOK MY, 'SASUKELOV3R' SN?

**FootballUchiha: **look Sasu, u've got more fans!

**WeaselBoi: **haha!

**BetterThanTheWeasel: **:twitch:

**Sasukelov3r: **i did forehead grl

**Sasuke-loves-pinkie: **INO-PIG!

**Sasukelov3r: **it was my idea 1st.

**Sasuke-loves-pinkie: **SOOOOOOO?

**PearlEyes has entered.**

**PearlEyes: ** Neji-nii-san, otou-san wishes 2 c us at the hyuuga training grounds.

**Surpassed-the-main-family: **er... uh yes, Hinata-sama. (Neji now regreted his sn.)

**RadioactiveRacoon: **dumbass.

**Surpassed-the-main-family has lefted.**

**PearlEyes has lefted.**

**FanManwithgoggles (teacher) has entered.**

**FanManwithgoggles: **Itachi, Sasuke, and Shisui, I wish 2 talk to u 3 about tutoring other students. (no clue on who this is? Think: the uchiha-crest is a fan, who's the 4th uchiha that could be a teacher?)

**BetterThanTheWeasel: **u realize tat i'm a freshmen, rite?

**FootballUchiha: **can't, i got football practice

**Weaselboi: **wats it in 4 us?

**FanManwithgoggles: **it'll help with ur college application.

**Weaselboi, FootballUchiha, and BetterThanTheWeasel: **we have the grades to get us into any university we want, so no.

**FanManwithgoggles: **o... sry 2 have bothered u.

**Medicalnin (principal) has entered.**

**Medicalnin: SASUKE, ITACHI, SHISUI, I ORDER U 2 TUTOR MY DUMB STUDENTS!**

**Weaselboi: **we have our rites.

**FootballUchiha: **we've been through this last year too, and the answer will remain the same, no.

**BetterThanTheWeasel: **no, XP, bleh.

**Weaselboi, FootballUchiha, and BetterThanTheWeasel has lefted.**

**Medicalnin: dammit!**

**Medicalnin has lefted.**

**Sasukelov3r has lefted.**

**Sasuke-loves-pinkie has lefted.**

**RadioactiveRacoon has lefted. **

**GOTSHOTBYAPOKEMON has lefted.**

**FanManwithgoggles has lefted.**

**Puppet-of-sand has lefted.**

**BlueShark has lefted.**

**Evil-Deer-Of-Doom has lefted.**

**BogBoned has lefted.**

**Ramenlover has lefted.**

(oh screw it, everyone lefted, because some people came because Sasuke, Itachi, and Shisui came, but lefted, because they lefted. And other people came because of that, and BLAH BLAH BLAH!)

161616

this was for fun, and oh yes, NejiSasu or GaaSasu?

I haven't decided yet, help me.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: FanManwithgoggles is Obito, because of the Uchiha emblem, which is a fan, he is a man, and I saw him wearing goggles. So FanManwithgoggles.Ah yes! I HAVE A PLOT FOR THIS THING NOW! XD! And the vote is so far a tie, for GaaSasu, or NejiSasu.

Oh yea, uhm, I hate Sakura, so, Sakura fans, don't read if you'll feel offended. See, I am warning you, not like some people who just start bashing people in their summaries. God, even in the title! (Stacy, if you're reading this, skip to the story.) I cried when I looking for something on Sasuke to read. :frown: I wish I could hate him, but for some reason, I CAN'T! I need help, I tried to convince myself, 'he's evil, he got, Chouji, Neji, Kiba, Akamaru, Naruto, Lee, Shikamaru (not really), Tayuya, Kimimaru, Kidoumaru, Jiroubu, Sakon, Ukon, and lots of others hurt, BUT, AUGH::cries in a corner: My friends think I fell in love with him, god, that's wierd, he's a fictional character!

CHAPTER 8! (I think)

"Ne-Ne-Neji-nii-nii-sa-san, a-are y-you r-ready t-to g-go?" Hinata studdered.

"In a moment, Hinata-sama." Neji told her packing one more thing into his JANSPORT, (not poseur kinds like Janeast, or west.) backpack.

"H-hai."

Neji walked to her and they walked together towards Hiashi.

"O-otousan, we a-are ready t-to go." Hinata tried not to studder.

"Hinata, Neji, before you 2 go, I would like to see how much Hinata has improved." Hiashi announced. (okay, I've decided that they have both school and ninja powers.)

Neji stared at her to see her reaction. Hinata bowed, "H-hai."

They walked to the Hyuuga training ground. Hinata got in position, as Hiashi and Neji both sat next to each othr sipping tea.

'Byakugan!' Hinata thought with her hands together.

All of a sudden, kunai, shurinkuns, and other weapons, came flying at her from all directions.

"Ryu-ku-ju yon-shou!" (is that right?) Hinata shouted.

She killed (well, broke) all the weapons, and waited for more to come. But it started to rain heavily.

'WTF?' Neji thought.

Hinata smiled, this was an advantage to her. Soon, not only did weapons come, but also little animals and insects, such as spiders and rats came as well. (iono.)

"Hinata, beware, these animals have poison in their bodys, if they bite, scratch or wound (sp?) you in anyway, it will be critical. The poison, will first spread to your vital organs, and then get into your bloodstream, all within 10 seconds.

Both Neji and Hinata were shocked.

"Hiashi-sama, I'm sure w-" Neji tried to reason.

"If Hinata cannot surpass this, then she will not be mourned over." (omg, how sad!)

Luckily, Hinata had SURVIVED. (Yay!)

"Huff, huff, o-otousan, ca-can we g-go to sch-school, now?" Hinata asked bent down on her knees.

Neji sighed in relief.

"Come home immediately afterschool, I have an annoucement to make." Hiashi told them.

Neji and Hinata bowed. "Hai." Then went to school.

161616

The needle lay there on the desk, alone. Slowly, he picked it up, shaking with fear, and anger. The tears dripped on the table as he lifted the sleeve of his t-shirt. Hesitantly, he dragged the needle across his arm, trying to rip the skin. It was painful at first, but he relaxed, and then, it was done. He watched a beaded line of redness slowly appear. He took a deep breath, and smiled a bit. Seeing the it there somehow brought relief and pleasure to him. He didn't know why, but, he had the sudden erge to do it again. So he did. It was all new to him, being his first time. He wasn't addicted, but he had to admit, it felt good, and he knew he would one day do it again. (Erm, I'm not sure if everyone's first time ((if they ever did try cutting)) was like this, but mine was, so yeah.)

161616

"ZABU-CHAN!" Haku shouted as he ran toward Zabuza.

"Huh?" Zabuza turned to the direction of Haku, his eyes widened as he was jumped on by Haku.

They fell onto the floor.

"Zabu-chan! Guess what?" Haku squealed.

"Ugh, Haku, get off." Zabuza groaned.

"Oh! Sorry!" Haku jumped up.

"Anyway! Today, I read my poem in class, and Iruka-sensei was so moved by it, HE ENTERED IT TO A POEM CONTEST!" Haku screamed.

"Uh huh, what happens if you win?" asked Zabuza.

"Grand prize winner wins 500 dollars and a trip to Finland with a friend!" Haku yelled.

"I see, I'm very happy for you Haku."

161616

Sasuke and Keigo were walking to school together, since they were neighbors. But on the way, they saw something VERY frightening on the sidewalk.

"GAH!" Sasuke was disgusted.

"EWW!" Keigo yelled.

The two covered thier eyes. Tsunade and Jiraiya were fucking each other senseless IN PUBLIC!

"HOLY SHIT!" Tsunade got up and dressed in a flash.

"YOU NEVER SAW THIS!" she yelled.

"Dude, yes I did." Keigo said, being the school gossiper.

"Name your price." Tsunade said glaring.

"ER... make us some riceballs with tomato filling, and I'll keep quiet." Keigo told her.

"Us, as in me too." Sasuke added, also liking tomatoes. (tomatoes are HEALTHY LOVE!)

"Yea!" Keigo said.

"Fine, afterschool though." Tsunade grumbled.

Keigo and Sasuke continued on their way.

161616 (I hate Sai, those of you who like Sai, skip to the next '161616'.)

Sai was walking to school, when suddenly, AN UGLY FAT GUY POPPED UP AND RAPED HIM! Though Sai did not enjoy it, he didn't know how to show emotions, he could on smile as he was raped. So the UGLY FAT GUY thought Sai was enjoying it. Sai sued the UGLY FAT GUY, in court, but the UGLY FAT GUY (this is so much fun.) told the judge that Sai was smiling during the process, and said it was '_MUTUAL SEX_'. Therefore, the UGLY FAT GUY was claimed innocent. And Sai smiled for the rest of his miserable life.

161616

By now, almost everyone reached school. It was an uneventful day. But what happened afterschool at the Hyuuga mansion is what's most shocking.

"Everyone gather, I have an announcement to make." Hiashi told.

Neji and Hinata watched all the Hyuugas come one by one. (They were already with Hiashi.)

"What is it, Hiashi-sama?" asked one.

"I have arranged both Neji and Hinata, to be married." Hiashi announced.  
O-O - Neji's face. O.o (with some blushing.) - Hinata's face.

"Hiashi-sama, I'm sure that you are aware that I am a branch member, and Hi-" Neji started.

"Yes Neji, I am aware of that." Hiashi cut him off.

"Tou- tousan, but, but what if Neji already likes some-someone else?" Hinata was wearing a MAJOR blush.

"It does not matter, I must have strong granchildren to carry on the main family."

"B-but I'm weak." Hinata said in a tone just over a whisper.

"No Hinata. You _WERE _weak,but you have gotten stronger than I had imagined. This morning was a test. If you hadn't past it. Hanabi would marry Neji."

"Dammit!" Hanabi hised to herself. (she likes Neji.)

'Eww... Hanabi...' Neji and Hinata thought. (I don't like Hanabi.)

"You are now engaged, AND THAT IS FINAL!"

'TnT... wah..., Kiba-kun...' Hinata thought in crying chibi form.

:twitch: 'Incest...' :twitch: 'Ugh... but I'm gay.. for Sasuke. DAMMIT ALL!' Neji's thoughts.

'...' :sweatdrop: - the crowd.

161616

The next day at school, was very odd, like all the others. Everyone was gathered into the auditorium for a special announcement.

"What's going on?" "Dunno." And other blabbers could be heard amongst the audience.

When everyone was seated, Tsunade appeared, and announced, "After some thought, I've decided to make this a dormitory high school."

"WHAT!" shouted everyone.

Then all the doors locked.

OO; O.O - people's faces.

"Hehe... there's no escape now..." Tsunade sneered.

"WHAT?"

161616

Ugh, I'm such a lazybutt, sorry, I MUST HAVE inspiration! So, if you guys have an idea of what should happen next, tell me in a review, thanks!


	9. DAMN KOON!

Disclaimer : I don't own Naruto, if I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.

A/N: Ahah... sorry for taking so long to update again! But this one is based on my 2 friends. Both guys. hehe. Evan and Brandon. Love ya's!

Evan - Itachi (well, for the time being)

Brandon - Kankurou (for the time being)

Mike (my friend who was there too) - Sasuke

Me - Keigo(?)

Ahah, got inspiration on them. I'll be starting some yaoi action soon. hah. Ah, yes, **Sei mong**, if you wish, you can request a fic, for giving me that awesome idea of making Neji and Gaara share Sasuke, you can have any one-shot you want of the Naruto series, just here are the rules though:

_**1. No SakuraXANYONE**_

_**2. No Mary Sues or Gary Stus**_

_**3. Only yaoi pairings, and ShikamaruXTemari allowed**_

_**4. No Sai pairings**_

_**5. No 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th, hokage pairings either (writing about dead/old people are hard. Oo)**_

_**6. If you don't like the one-shot I make, you can always request another. lol, more work for me.**_

Chapter 9! finally.

Itachi was looking for his room, with his best friend, Kankurou. They had room 506, so they took the elevator. As they reached the 4th floor, a guy walked in.

" Kankurou!" said the guy who Itachi had not known.

" Koon!" (omg, I hate this dude, he called me a bitch! D: Oh, and Koon is actually his name.) Kankurou greeted.

They hugged.

" Oh! Itachi, this is Koon, we've been friends for like 7 years!" Kankurou explained.

" I see. Youroshikunai." Itachi said. (nice to meet you.)

" Ah, same same, Itachi." Koon said, without care. (HATE!)

" So Koon, where are you off to?" Kankurou asked.

" Hm, I'm just about to (EAT MY SOCK!) go buy some paint to decorate my room." Koon said with a smile.

" Oh! We'll go with you." Kankurou told Koon WITHOUT asking Itachi if he wanted to go or not.

" Wait, Kankurou, I have to put my stuff in our room." Itachi said.

" Oh, we'll wait for you in the corridor then." Kankurou assured him.

They went their separate ways.

Itachi hurried and dumped his things on the bed, and ran down to the corridor, where Kankurou and Koon were talking. He walked up to them, waiting for acknowledgement. Though, they didn't notice him, and just continued to talk. About 25 minutes later of being ignored, Itachi cleared his throat. Kankurou and Koon both looked over.

" Oh! Hey 'Tach! Let's go!" both Kankurou and Koon said, beginning to walk.

Itachi followed, but thought, 'HOW DARE HE CALL ME 'TACH! ONLY KANKUROU, KISAME, DEIDARA, SASORI, SASUKE, KEIGO, AND LEADER CAN CALL ME THAT!'

As they walked, Itachi was yet again, ignored, and had to listen to the constant chatter of Koon and Kankurou.

-

Finally, they had reached the paint shop, Kankurou and Koon discussed what was a good color and good mix, etc., leaving Itachi, yet again, ignored.

So, Itachi left, not that either Kankurou or Koon had noticed until an hour later. (so sad...) Itachi ran all the back to the 5th floor, where he saw Sasuke wandering around with Keigo. The 3 were like siblings, since, Keigo had lived next door to them, before she and Sasuke were even born! Itachi seriously needed someone at the moment, though he tried to hide his tears and end his sobs, he could not.

" 'TACHIIE! WHAT'S WRONG!" Keigo shouted running towards him.

" Holy crap, aniki, never seen you cry before..." Sasuke hesitated, then ran toward Itachi as well.

Keigo hugged Itachi, and let him sob into her shoulder.

" What happened?" Keigo asked.

Itachi explained how Kankurou, the one he had loved so, ignored him, hadn't acknowledged his lack of presense, for a guy named, 'Koon'.

" Ouch, what a jerk!" she exclaimed.

" No. No. Don't insult him, _please_." Itachi begged.

" Oh my god, 'tachiie, I won't insult him!" she assured him.

Sasuke still stared in shock that Itachi, _his _aniki, was crying his eyes out.

Suddenly, KANKUROU APPEARED! (yay!) Without Koon.

" 'Tach, why'd you ditch me?" Kankurou asked.

" Me... ditch... you..?" Itachi asked in a quivering voice.

" 'Tach... why are you crying!" Kankurou asked in panic and shock.

" Like you would know, you were too busy talking to Koon, to even acknowledge the fact that I was actually there."

" Oh, 'Tach, I'm so sorry. Its just that, I've known Koon for 7 years, and I haven't seen him in a while. That's all."

" That's no excuse."

" Well, Koon and me are gonna hang out tomarrow, you wanna come?"

" Only if my sis gets to come."

" Keigo, can you _please _come?"

" I'll only go if Sasu-chan goes." she said.

" Sasuke?"

" Whatever." Sasuke said.

" I'll take that as a yes."

- t3h n3x7 d4y-

Itachi, Sasuke, and Keigo followed Kankurou to a place they had never been to before. Sasuke and Keigo saw a guy they had never met standing on a rock.

" Is that him?" Keigo asked.

" Yea." Itachi said emotionlessly.

" HE'S FUGLY!" she yelled, but not loud enough for Koon to hear.

" Sup Koon!" greeted Kankurou.

" Wassup wassup!" Koon yelled back.

' I hate him already...' Sasuke and Keigo thought at the sametime.

" Hi Koon." Itachi said softly.

" Hey 'Tach!" Koon said, eyeing Keigo.

' HOW DARE HE!' Sasuke and Keigo thought.

" And, who are these two? Twins, perhaps?" Koon asked.

" No." Keigo answered bluntly.

" Ah hah... The girl is Keigo, and the boy is Sasuke." Kankurou said.

" What boy?" Koon said, looking at Keigo up and down.

"PFFT!" Keigo burst out laughing.

Sasuke glared and when on fire...

Kankurou looked mordified. ' SHIT! Now we'll have to face Sasuke's wrath...'

" Ahahaha... Nice one, Koon, the one in blue is Sasuke..., and the one in black is Keigo." Kankurou explained.

" I see. Sasuke, my man, are you gay?" Koon asked. (HATE!)

Sasuke twitched. " Why would you ask that? And, I am not 'your man'." Sasuke said.

" So, you are." Koon said.

" That's disgusting, ain't I right, Kankurou? " Koon announced. (HATE! HATEEE!)

" Uh... yeah, gays are gross, I mean, a guy kissing a guy? I'd rather kiss a girl with vomit and shit all over her face than a guy." Kankurou said.

O.O :GASP: "HOW DARE YOU, KANKUROU! YOU MOTHER-FU-" Keigo was cut off by Itachi.

" Please, don't insult him."

" I'm sorry."

" So, ALL 3 OF YOU ARE HOMOS! HAHAHAHAHA!" Koon exclaimed.

" No, and shut up, jerk." Keigo said sternly.

Immediately, he grabbed her by the waist. "So, gurly, you're not lez?"

O.O " No, I'm not, but there's nothing wrong with being gay. NOW GET AWAY FROM ME!"

" Heh, you're hott, and a bit fiesty." he said holding her tighter.

' WHAT THE FUCK!' she thought.

" Right... get away now." she said.

" Hmph, I love you." Koon told her.

O.O... "Whatever." she pried his arms off of herself, and got a distance away from him, behind Kankurou.

" C'mere and give me a kiss." he insisted.

" NO!"

" C'mon man, stop messin' with her, she's younger than us." Kankurou told Koon.

" SO? I LOVE HER!" (Oh god, memories of that day... scary...)

Then Koon followed Keigo everywhere and told her that homosexuality is the worse disgrace in the world, even worse than asians.

" OH MY FUCKING GOD! NOT ONLY ARE YOU A HOMO-BASHER, BUT YOU'RE RACIST! AND I'M ASIAN MYSELF, YA NO! SO IS KANKUROU!" she screamed.

" KANKUROU, HOW COULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH HIS INGRATE, THIS VILE BEING, AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT YOU ARE, ASIAN, AND YOU ARE GAY! DAMMIT!" she yelled at him in japanese, which Koon didn't understand.

" If you hate me so much, then leave." Koon said.

" NO! _YOU_ LEAVE! KANKUROU, TELL HIM TO LEAVE!" she yelled.

" Keigo! Koon is my friend, if he doesn't want to leave, then he won't!" Kankurou told her off.

" SO WHAT? YOU'RE TAKING _HIS _SIDE?" she shouted.

" SHUT UP BITCH, AND JUST LEAVE, NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE!" Kankurou yelled at her. ( when it happened, he actually, said this. O.O)

" YEA! GO KANKUROU!" Koon cheered.

Keigo was left gaping, like a fish out of water.

" Keigo... look I didn't mean it." Kankurou said in japanese.

" Kei-chan, I'm sorry I had brought you here." Itachi apologized, in japanese.

" WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE! LEAVE!" Koon shouted.

" Fine!" she started.

" Keigo, don't leave." both Itachi and Kankurou said.

" I will!" she finished.

As she ran back to her room to cry, her angry sobs and all that shouting before, had caused her asthma to trigger.

O.O, ' No... not now! I don't... have my inhaler!' she thought.

She desperately tried to find help, but her lack of oxygen, had caused her to collapse.


	10. ehto wa AN

Disclamier : I don't own Naruto.

Ahah... This is more of an author's note, not a chapter, so ahah... I was wondering if I should I make Keigo die or not. O.O vote now...?

A) KILL TEH BITCH!

B) don't kill her

I appreaciate all the support, but, whoever is my 50th reviewer, gets to request a fic from any anime of the following:

_**Naruto**_

_**Shaman King**_

_**Rurouni Kenshin**_

_**Ouran High School Host Club**_

_**Prince of Tennis/ Tennis no Ohjisama**_

_**Hikaru No Go**_

_**Chobits**_

_**Inuyasha**_

_**Yu Yu Hakusho**_

_**Beyblade**_

_**Rave Master**_

_**Haunted Junction**_

_**Azumana Daioh**_

_**Ranma 1/2**_

_**Bleach**_

_**Get Backers**_

_**Kill me Kiss me**_

_**Maison Ikkoku**_

_**Juvenile Orion**_

_**Furi Kuri**_

_**Gravitation**_

_**Flame of Recca**_

_**Full Metal Alchemist**_

_**Card Captor Sakura**_

_**Fruits Basket**_

_**Tsubasa Resevoir Chronicals**_

_**Clamp School Detectives**_

_**Demon Ororon**_

_**GTO**_

_**Shakugan no Shana**_

_**Zodiac P.I.**_

and I think that's it, if you think I missed somed, tell me. O.O


	11. DAMN KOON! part 2

A/N : Well, I was gonna make Keigo die in this chapter, but my real life friends told me not to, and some of you guys want her alive, so I guess she'll live? So since she's gonna live, I'm adding a new OC character in this, as well, her savior? I dunno, haha. Here's her info :

Name : Yumiko Tenki

Age : 14

Birthday : July 3rd

Height : 5' 2

Personality : Funny, hyper, mood swings,

Looks : Black hair, red eyes, pale skin.

Clothes : Baggy black pants, a white wifebeater that says "FOONS", black armsocks, spiked choker, and tons of bracelets

Tenki Clan Specialities : Dealing with the undead.

Skills : Brings out the person's worst fears by trapping their mind in another dimension and all their fears come to haunt them

Likes : Emos. crazy people. psychos, sugar, junkfood, food in general, music, dark colors, goths, prep-haters, stuff like that

Dislikes : Pink. preps. sluts. whores. jocks, conceided people, people who think they're better then everyone else, people who think women are only objects of beauty and should be only seen not heard.

Could be seen : Playing DDR with Keigo

Could be seen _at_ : Pepe's Mexican Foods

Problems : none

Ahah, this is from my friend, I was too lazy to do it. That's why Keigo doesn't have a character info thinger, so, if you care, here :

Name : Ranade Kumo Keigo (her first name's actually Ranade, but people call her Keigo, cause its supposed to mean polite or something. Kumo, her middle name, means cloud, cause that's my middle name. Odd I know, haha.)

Age : 14

Birthday : September 16th

Height : 5' 1 (short people!)

Personality : Gets pissed easily, funny, gets put down easily.

Looks : Short layered black hair with white tips, and red streaks. Onyx eyes, regular peach skin(?)

Clothes : Black shirt that reveals her stomach, black skirt with red dragons on it, white armsocks, bandages everywhere, and tons of necklaces.

Not in a clan, the Uchiha clan taught her how to fight.

Skills : Has a bass, everytime she plays something, an attack would come out. (aha...)

Likes : Music, onyx, blood, DDR, ANIME, yaoi, shota, etc.

Dislikes : Preps, cheerleaders, girly-girls, sluts, whores, hoes, prostitutes, etc. (haha)

Could be seen : Playing DDR with Sasuke, or Yumiko

Could be seen _at_: the arcade playing DDR. (haha)

Problems : Her parents who aren't ninjas or have any abilities at all, think that she's a monster for having 'DARK POWERS', and abuse her. xP

Ok, ok, so, I guess '_**Uchihacest-girl**'_gets her Sasuke/Itachi fic, so by that order, Sasuke is seme? Lol,younger seme, awesome. xD

uhm... I guess this would actually be chapter 10? kks

Chapter 10 - DAMN KOON! - part 2

" AH! RANA-KUN!" was the last thing Keigo had heard until she blacked-out.

----hours later-----

Keigo opened her eyes slowly and was slightly blinded by the hospital lights.

' Where... where am I...?' she thought as she looked around.

She saw Sasuke, Itachi, and Kankurou asleep on a couch at one side of the room, and saw Yumi-kun at the other. She tried to get up, but there was a striking pain to her chest area and lungs.

" Ah!" she put a hand to her chest. " Itai!"

This had awakened Kankurou.

" Keigo, are you all right?" Kankurou said in panic.

" No thanks to you." she answer coldly.

" Gomen, I just want Koon to accept me." he looked down.

" Hmph, accept you? HA! THAT'S A LAUGH, HE DOESN'T EVEN _KNOW_ YOU!"

" Please forgive me..."

" Give me a good reason why."

" We've been friends since we were little, do you really want this little fight to-"

" Little fight...? I COULD'VE DIED! IF YUMI-KUN WASN'T THERE, WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED? YOU GUYS DIDN'T COME FOR ME, I COULD'VE JUST LAID THERE AND SAFOCATED FOR ALL YOU CARE!" She shouted.

" Ok, ok. But don't yell, it may injure you even more."

" Kankurou, don't be talking like you care."

" But I do!"

" No Kankurou, if you did, I wouldn't be in the hospital right now."

" That's only because you were yelling with Koon."

" Kankurou, can you not see who you're hurting right now? I'm hospitalized, you're not even being yourself, and... and, have you ever thought of what 'Tachy may be feeling? I mean, you're both open- no scratch that, 'Tachy's an open gay. Can you _really_ be dense enough to not be able to tell who he loves? He didn't follow me to comfort me, only because you didn't go. He wanted to stick by you, even if you were being a jerk, even if you were with a GODDAMN BITCH! He didn't care, he loves you, and when that happens... Nothing else matters."

Kankurou looked shocked for a bit, then he softened.

"... Aa, you're right, Keigo... I've hurt people, including myself. Gomene..."

" So..., can I count you and 'Tachy as an item then? Ahaha."

Kankurou blushed. " I have to find out if 'Tach wants me or not first."

" Are you kidding? Of course he does!"

At that moment, Itachi woke up.

" Well, I have to use the restroom." Keigo said, (suddenly recovering) got up and ran out the door.

" Wait, Keigo! The restroom is that... door..." Itachi called pointing to another door.

" Uhm, well, 'Tach, uh.. listen, I'm really sorry about this whole thing. And I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner, but... will you... go out with me?" Kankurou studdered.

------------------------------- End of Chapter 10 ------------------

_**Will Itachi accept Kankurou's date? Will SASUKE EVER GET WITH NEJI AND GAARA! Who knows.**_

_**Anyways, should Itachi get with Kankurou?**_

_**A) YES**_

_**B) NO**_

_**C) NONE OF THE ABOVE! (O.o)**_


End file.
